A Russian peasant woman was resettled in Soviet Central Asia where for the first time she saw a camel. In horror and amazement she exclaimed: "Look what the communists have done to that poor horse!"
Q: What is the difference between a Christian and a communist?
A: After death a Christian hopes to go to heaven; a communist hopes to be rehabilitated.
During a discussion, a Russian communist asked a Catholic friend, "Why do people believe in your heaven but not in ours?"
After a moment's thought, the Catholic replied, "We do not show them our heaven."
Q: Why is the communist system superior to others?
A: Because it successfully overcomes problems that do not even exist in other systems.
Applicants for a position were being interviewed. Each was asked, "How much is two and two?"
The answer was always, "Four."
One candidate asked, "How much do you want it to be?"
He was appointed to the position.
After Stalin died there was a meeting of the central committee to decide what to with his body. Following a lengthy discussion one member suggested it be sent to some faraway country for burial.
One proposal was Israel. Immediately a member protested: "Wasn't that where someone once rose from the dead?"