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A Can of Death

6/30/2019

In early June I wrote a blog post about the pair of black redstarts that had built a compact nest within the confines of an old tin can perched on the ledge above the door of one of my outbuildings. I found the nest to be rather ingenious in its design and location, but feared the can might topple off the ledge once the eggs hatched and the hatchlings began moving about. In an effort to help prevent this potential tragedy, I anchored the can to the ledge with some ceramic tile adhesive.

Four of the five eggs hatched a a day or two later, and over the course of the next two weeks, I took a vested interest in the bird family. I popped into the outbuilding a few times each day to check on the chicks' development and monitor the state of their tin can nest. For ten days or so everything seemed to be going smoothly. The parent birds flew endless sorties from the shed, only to return a few minutes later their beaks stuffed with worms or insects. The chicks were eating well and growing rapidly. My intermittent presence in the outbuilding did not bother the parent birds too much, and I looked forward eventually seeing the little chicks leave the nest after they had matured enough.

One morning as I went to the shed to retrieve the lawnmower, I spotted the carcasses of two of the black redstart chicks on the concrete floor beneath the ledge. I scanned the ledge for signs of disturbance, but the can was in the place it was supposed to be, and it still contained the two other chicks, which were both alive and healthy. Since the chances of a marten or cat accessing the can-nest were practically zero, and the caracasses bore no tooth or claw marks, I concluded the chicks must have simply toppled out of the can some time during the night. It appeared the nest-can was not as ingenious as I had first assumed it to be. Perhaps it was not deep enough or perhaps it was too narrow to securely hold four growing chicks.

Shaking my head, I scooped the limp little bodies onto a shovel and quickly removed them from the shed before either of the parent birds returned. Later that day, I popped into the shed to return the lawnmower and noticed the mother bird sitting in the can-nest. "You only have two left now," I said gently. "You be sure to take good care of them." The female black redstart sat perfectly still and stared at me from within grass-lined tin cylinder - her gaze revealed nothing. I left the shed consoling myself with the idea that the remaining two chicks now had a better chance at survival.

This optimistic twist on the seemingly cruel odds and numbers games nature plays was gone by morning, evaporating into the bright, warm sunny morning as quickly as the light film of dew that had coated the grass despite the low humidity. The two remaining chicks had also perished. Unlike their siblings, they had not fallen from the nest, but had mysteriously met their doom in the very same place they had been given a chance at life. The parent birds returned to the nest a few times that morning, but the intervals between their to and fros became increasingly longer until a final fro marked the end of their travels. By evening, I realized the black redstart pair had abandoned the nest.

Though I respect and love wildlife, I tend not to get sentimental about the mysterious workings of the natural world. Nevertheless, I could not help but feel sorry for the black redstart pair. They had done everything instinct had required of them, and for the most part they appear to have done it well. They had mated and had selected a safe and clever spot for their nest. They had spent the better part of spring working diligently to line the inside of the tin can with grass and straw, and in early June, the female had laid her eggs. I had pinched in to remedy the law of physics they had overlooked in their earnest quest to find place to rear their young, and with that, all the pieces for success appeared to be in place. After the eggs hatched, the birds worked tirelessly to feed their hatchlings. For more than a week, their efforts bore fruit. But then, misfortune befell them. And just like that, all the time they had dedicated and all the energy they had expended to propagate their species was for naught. The thing they had so tirelessly worked toward was snatched away from them without as much as a whisper of explanation.

I imagine those who harbor materialist mindsets react to such events in a variety of ways. One common reaction is the nonchalant shrug of acceptance. That's life. What can you do? It's all chaos and chance. There isn't any rhyme or reason to any of it. Those who lean more toward science look for data to determine what had caused the failed attempt at propagation, and chalk the failure up to those causes. The sentimental rail against the cruelty of nature and the apparent unfairness of it all. Those with spiritual and religious natures understand the depth beneath the tragic surface - recognize the loving creation beneath the apparent cruelty.

I place myself firmly within the last group, but as I thought of the black redstarts, I reflected upon my own circumstances. Like the tin can birds in my shed, I too have dedicated a considerable amount of time and effort into building up a home, and I too am focused primarily on one goal - the successful rearing of a child. My wife and I work diligently to ensure my little one grows up strong and healthy so that he might discover his purpose in this life. But what if one day I came home and had to face the unthinkable, the same way the black redstarts had returned to their nest to face the unthinkable? What then?

As I sit and write these words, I find it easy to say I would approach such a development as part of loving creation, as something I needed to experience, as something I had to go through in order to develop spiritually, find my purpose, learn what I needed to learn, and all the rest of it. But would I truly feel that way were I ever forced to confront such an unthinkable situation?

I know for certain I could not simply shake it off with a shrug. Nor would I find any consolation in any cold scientific explanation. But I imagine I could easily be tempted to join the sentimentalists and lament and rage against the cruelty and coldness of it all.

Tragic possibilities are difficult to contemplate for they try the depths of men's souls, but every once in a while I find I must ruminate about the potential for suffering that is perpetually out there, masked behind the innocent surface of a sunny blue sky. I believe in loving creation, but I must accept that cans of death are a part of this loving creation. In fact, the world itself is little more than a massive can of death, yet this too is part of loving creation.

These are not easy concepts to contemplate, let alone embrace, and I can understand how they could push even the most spiritual and religious among us to the brink of capitulation.

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Recognizing When You Are Forcing It, And Stopping Once You Do

6/29/2019

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There is a particular matter with a fast-approaching deadline that I need to take care of, so to speak. I began working on the matter about two months ago by enlisting the help of an individual who I thought could help me clear away much of the red tape associated with the objective. The way I chose was not illegal in any sense, but certainly leaned heavily on the side of expediency (the matter concerned is a routine bureaucratic one complete with a long list of mind numbing forms and pointless appointments, all of which I very much wanted to lessen to some degree). We got the ball rolling almost immediately after establishing contact with each other. Unfortunately, the rolling ball never gathered much momentum.

Right from the get-go, our work on the matter faltered into a series of inexplicable misunderstandings, silly errors, missed deadlines, failed appointments, and bad luck. I found myself encountering obstacles I should not have been encountering. I also committed blunders I would normally never commit. All the while, the individual trying to help me also made one clumsy misstep after another. To top it all off, I had to cancel the crucial appointment that would have essentially sealed the deal because I had fallen ill.

I phoned my associate to reschedule the appointment for a later date, but I ended phoning him back almost immediately after I had ended the call. Right then and there I knew I had to let go of the whole process we had initiated and approach the matter from a different angle, regardless of the time and effort we had both invested into the goal. I told the man who had been assisting me to forget about the rescheduling, and that I had decided to step away from the business and try a different approach. To my mild surprise, my associate greeted this news with relief. We wished each other the best, and I ended the call.

After this conversation, I took a few minutes to reflect upon the entire ordeal. The first thing that occured to me was that it should not have been an ordeal at all. In fact, what I want to achieve is incredibly simple and routine, and it should have gone off without any sort of hitch, yet for reasons neither I nor my associate could understand the seemingly basic matter degenerated into a complicated and stressful nightmare. It was star-crossed from the beginning, as if the universe had actively conspired against us, or at the very least, had cursed my attempt to accomplish what I needed to accomplish within the framework I had chosen to achieve my objective. So much had gone wrong that it had all quickly taken on the overtones of a farcical tragic-comedy.

As I reflected upon this series of unlucky events and developments, I suddenly understood the relief I had heard in my associate's voice. Toward the end, he had felt the same as I had. We had both reached the point where we were trying force something that simply refused to be forced, and we had both come to the realization that it would be in everyone's best interest to just cut it loose and let it drift away.

This is by no means an easy point to reach, especially in matters pertaining to business. We live in societies nurtured on the understanding that success requires will power and determination, that the difference between success and failure is really only a question of grit and stick to itiveness. Winners never quit. Never give up. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. These sayings are welded into our minds, spelled out in the same sort of heavy, iron block letters that used to adorn garish concrete socialist monuments in the Eastern Bloc. Failure to heed the "wisdom" contained within these oppressive messages regarding will power indicates there is something wrong with you. There must be. After all, there can be nothing inherently wrong with the wisdom itself. The wisdom of will power is truth. Your inability to abide by dictums addressing will power reveals your inability to live up to this truth. Failure can neatly be chalked up to one thing and one thing only - you simply do not have what it takes to see a goal through to success.

Perseverance can be a virtue, no doubt about it. This holds particularly true in our own contemporary world which brims with short-cutters and easy-streeters, people who abide by a philosophy of expediency. Unwilling to invest sincere time and effort into accomplishing goals, many modern people focus their will power on avoiding tough challenges, or abandoning challenges the moment they become tough. I definitely took this approach in regard to this particular bureaucratic matter. I simply did not want to invest the time and effort to "properly" complete the process. Pitted against this kind of approach, perseverance can indeed pay dividends, and it is often worth continuing pursuits others avoid or back out of, but even perseverance has its limits. The trick seems to be recognizing what these limits are and knowing when to accept them as limits.

Much of western civilization is constructed on faith in the power of will power. Our history books teem with biographical snippets of dogged individuals who inscribed their names onto eternity through the act of imposing their will power upon the world - tenacious, firm, steadfast giants who expended their life energies altering the fabric of the universe through the sheer power of their resolve. These were people who simply refused to take no for an answer. They stood up and locked horns with the cosmos and would not back down, even when faced with insurmountable odds. And this sheer, almost foolhardy purposefulness is what made them what they were and, inevitable, helped make the world what it is. They wielded their unwavering determination like signet rings, and pressed their indelible marks upon the sealing wax of the world.

As grand, noble, and impressive as these individuals and their stories are, they sidestep an often neglected but crucial kernel of wisdom. Will power can be a great power, but is necessarily "good"? And is it as strong as it is touted to be? In the grand scheme of things, The Will is infinitely greater than will power is. Not only is The Will stronger than will power, but The Will should never be ignored, especially when will power finds itself pushing up against it. But what, exactly, are will power and The Will?

In his Geography of Consciousness, William Arkle describes will power in the following manner:

Will Power is taken in its usual secular and common sense definition, and interpreted as the use of normal psychological disciplines to attain a particular goal.

Will power is a matter of 'getting what we want or believe we need'; it is a matter of strategically using our mind, understanding, predictive ability, force and manipulations to attain an objective.

Will Power may or may not achieve what it sets out to achieve - but it is essentially an attempt to impose ourselves upon the world; and therefore extremely prone to be evil in motivation and effect.

Arkle then goes on to explain The Will:

The Will is something altogether different in its nature and operation. It is our true, higher, individual Self; that contains an element of, and is in communication with, God.

Therefore The Will is a source of the power strength, and purpose of God as this specifically applies to our (real) selves.

The Will is therefore necessarily good, and (being divine) this good is harmonised with the good of all other things.

We have no conscious power to influence The Will by a strategic decision - any more than we could change God's will; we can only recognise The Will, and choose either to accept or to reject it.

Arkle then explains what happens when will power forces itself to work against The Will:

Mostly we choose to ignore or reject The Will, and instead attempt to impose our false selves upon the world by Will Power.

And mostly this is un-successful - and this failure is both necessary and fortunate as the results of success would be disastrous to ourselves and to others (including the whole environment).

When (as is usual) the Will Power goes against The Will; The Will 'sabotages' our plans, by all kinds of means including psychological sabotage, but not confined to that - since The Will is divine it has power to influence other things in the environment - leading to what may be termed 'bad luck' but is actually a necessary failure to get what we want, because what we want is opposed to what God wants, and therefore creation is 'weighted against us'.

I thought of Arkle's interpretations of will power versus The Will as I reflected upon the unfortunate events I had experienced over the past two months pertaining to the matter I was pursuing, and I began to consider that what I experienced might be a case of will power pushing up against The Will, as it were. It certainly felt as if creation was "weighted against me", as least within the scope of the particular goal I wished to achieve.

I have since decided to take a different approach to the matter. Though the goal remains the same, the means through which I plan to achieve it have changed. It is my hope that this shift in approach might create more conditions more conducive for the attainment of my overall objective. I do not believe the problem lies is the objective itself (it's a relatively impersonal matter with no overarching ethical or moral implications and no real connection to my Self, True or otherwise), but in the methods I had chosen to achieve it. In other words, I am taking my will power out of the equation, and I am going to attempt to deal with the business from an acceptance of The Will. Of course, I have no clear, conscious knowledge of what The Will actually wants in terms of this particular goal and why it so vehemently blocked my attempts to circumvent bureaucracy, but I am convinced it did not accept the way in which I had initially chosen to achieve my objective. It is my hope the new way I am going to attempt will be more aligned to my True Self, and thus more aligned to The Will.

As Arkle explains:

But a person who knows, accepts and lives by The Will (in however brief and incomplete a fashion) finds the opposite - he finds that not only his own mind (mental powers) but also 'things in general' cooperate in ways that are good.

This includes genuine synchronicity - which is a consequence of harmony between ourselves and our environment working towards the good, caused by The Will spontaneously (over time) reproducing in our surroundings 'a drama which represents the significance of our being': i.e. synchronicity, or 'meaningful coincidence' (as we interpret it).

Time will tell whether or not the steps I am currently taking will lead me in the direction Arkle describes above. Regardless, one thing is certain, the path I had initially taken had not worked and was never going to work, no matter how much I forced my will power upon it all.

And what of the great people of history? The ones who moved the world with nothing more than will power? Well, perhaps it was not their will power at all. Perhaps it was something higher and more subtle. If so, will power may not have been the driving force behind their grand achievements after all, as Arkle outlines in the following:

By this account synchronicity is mostly an operation of God-within-us, rather than a situation created by God's power external to us. It is evidence of a truly vast and intrinsically good power - a divine power of subtle harmonisation that we may recognise (or reject); but which it is impossible for us to control, exploit or 'use' to achieve our personal desires.

This also explains divine providence, that sense of God's Will working in the world (but only with our chosen cooperation) can make situations that seem like a near-incredible 'good fortune' by a sequence of apparent 'luck'.

Forcing things through concerted effort is often lauded as the key ingredient to success, but according to Arkle, the greatest successes only come when force and effort are taken out of the equation and The Will is granted enough space operate. Contrary to popular belief, instead of driving success, will power could positively hinder the proper attainment of goals.

All of this will undoubtedly strike some as speculative and somewhat outlandish, but in my mind, the inherent "goodness" (and effectiveness) of will power deserves a reevaluation.

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A Swath of Mammatus Clouds

6/28/2019

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Yesterday evening, a fast-moving cold front ended the heatwave that had kept temperatures well above thirty degrees in this part of the world for a week. I noticed the front effects in our village in the late afternoon when the wind began picking up. By early evening all the ingredients needed for a good storm were in place, but our village was spared. Though we avoided the severe storms other parts of the country experienced, we were, nonetheless, treated to a mesmerizing site - a long, pouchy path of mammatus clouds cutting a swath through the sky above the village.

Apparently, these cloud formations are rare. They must be because I have only come across them four or five times so far in my own. When I noticed the mammatus clouds above my house yesterday evening, I felt an odd blend of awe and disquiet, which is how I remember feeling the other times I have seen these kinds of formations. On the one hand, the strange pouch-like formations along the cloudy underbelly are delightfully enchanting, perhaps even soothing, to look at. On the other hand, the contrast between light and dark the orb-like lobes produce are somewhat unnerving, perhaps even intimidating in their unfamiliarity. The phenomenon lasted a mere fifteen minutes before it dissolved into slate-gray slab that dominated the sky for an hour. The setting sun eventually broke apart the gray and scattered its parts across a canvas of fading blue.

Luckily, I was quick-thinking enough to photograph the mammatus clouds before they disappeared. Though I think the photo itself is decent, it does not succeed in fully capturing the eerie beauty that briefly loomed above us yesterday.

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A Day or Two Off

6/25/2019

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A potent stomach virus has knocked me off my feet. Thankfully, no one else in my family has contracted it. I experienced the first symptoms two days ago, but I still feel rather miserable and am not out of the woods yet. In light of this, I think it would be prudent to take a couple of days off to fully recover. I hope to be back blogging tomorrow or the day after that, but for time being, I do not want blogging to interfere with all the "quality time" I have been spending in my bathroom.

In the meantime, I implore you to watch this short video by this bow tie-wearing doctor. It may help you avoid the "fun" I am currently living through. (And even if you don't care about the doctor's tips, you can spend two minutes marveling at the good doctor's neckwear, which in itself makes this video worth viewing.)

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The Collapse of Communism in Hungary and The Missed Chance at Spiritual Awakening

6/23/2019

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I work in and live near Sopron, a smallish city of roughly 80,000 located near the Austrian border in western Hungary. Thirty years ago, the city and its surrounding area were the unlikely epicenter of a rather monumental event, the temporary opening of the Iron Curtain, an action which precipitated the eventual collapse of communism and the reunification of Germany. Dubbed the Pan-European Picnic, the events of August 19, 1989 marked the beginning of the end of a totalitarian system that had kept Hungary and the rest of eastern Europe firmly under its heel.

By 1990, the communists "relinquished" their power in Hungary. The vast majority did this by simply turning their coats inside-out and becoming capitalists and liberals. Nevertheless, after fifty years of communist oppression, Hungary finally had a chance to be free again and rejoin the West from which it had been severed following the end of the Second World War.

Living in a communist system one day and then waking up the following day to discover you were a free westerner entitled to do more or less whatever you wanted caught most Hungarians completely off guard. Unfortunately for most, gaining freedom entailed immediate job loss as obsolete factories and industries were liquidated by communist apparatchiks, and rampant inflation as the domestic currency was crushed by the tidal wave of global market forces from which it had been inoculated. Simply put, many Hungarians quickly learned that freedom was not free.

The early nineties were chaotic years in Hungary. The new material realities reordered and reorganized everything. Some people became millionaires overnight. Others were left to stagnate or were simply left behind. Material hardship, the likes of which were rare under communism, became common around the nation. Rural areas and small villages far from major urban centers were particularly hard hit. Despite the collapse of the communist system that had enslaved the nation for more than half-a-century, the first few years of post-communism were depressing times for most Hungarians.

Nonetheless, amidst all the unpredictability and insecurity, an opportunity arose. An opportunity for the citizens of this small, landlocked nation to sense and embrace a spiritual awakening, both individually and en masse. For the first time in fifty years, Hungarians - and other eastern Europeans - had a chance to look at the world and perhaps recognize Reality, the same Reality communism had attempted to obliterate with its dictums and ideology. I imagine some Hungarians caught a sense of this in the early nineties, but for the vast majority, the only reality worthy of any attention was vulgar materialism.

Rather than embrace a chance at spiritual renewal, most Hungarians regarded the collapse of communism as their chance to embrace the hedonism and materialism the communists had denied them. Thus, Hungarians turned their backs on a possible Christian Renaissance and began to worship at the altar of western decadence. In turn, the West was only to happy to oblige these newly opened "markets". As a result, Hungarians in the early nineties were thoroughly convinced they would find happiness and meaning in bananas, color televisions, and new western automobiles.

This headlong acceptance of western liberalism, hedonism, and materialism fueled heady ambitions on both sides of the dismantled Iron Curtain, and the truly ambitious were quick to take advantage of the many shady opportunities the turbulent times offered. One industry that flourished immediately after Hungary liberated itself was the sex industry. I abhor communism with a passion, but one thing the communists got right, at least officially, was their opposition to the sex industry. Prostitution was officially outlawed during communism. Pornography was regarded as harmful western decadence and was illegal to manufacture, sell, or purchase. But this all changed drastically when Hungary became part of the liberal West.

I visited Budapest in 1986 and 1992; the difference between the communist capital and the post-communist capital were overwhelming and saddening. Budapest in 1986 was a beautiful, but drab and sleepy capital. By 1992, the city had transformed into a modern Gomorrah packed with peep shows, strip clubs, and porn theaters. Prostitutes lined street corners in many areas, and adult entertainment companies were staking their claims as fast as the jet planes could fly them in. Lured by the promise of easy money, young Hungarian women signed up to appear in sex films for the simple reason that they could make the equivalent of month's salary in a single shoot.

By the late 1990s, Budapest had earned the moniker of being the Bangkok of the Europe. Some wag pornographers referred to the city as Budaporn. The liberal Hungarian governments of the late nineties were afraid of passing laws curtailing the porn industry for fear such measures would be interpreted as totalitarian in nature. As a result, the industry kept growing. By the early 2000s, Budapest had become the capital of the European pornography industry.

Of course, pornography was not the only "business" to flourish during this time. Smuggling activities of all kinds were extremely lucrative, as were the drug trade, pyramid schemes, racketeering, extortion, blackmail, and human trafficking. When I visited the country in the early 2000s, I was utterly depressed by what I saw. In many cases, the worst had become first - porn producers and stars, ex-communists, crime bosses, smugglers, and petty crooks had formed a new unofficial elite within the country, while the average Hungarian who had not given into the dark side, so to speak, saw their lives stagnate. Unsurprisingly, many left the country during these years and never returned. I lived in Hungary from 2001 to 2003, and even then, many young Hungarians regarded "getting out" as their only chance at happiness and prosperity.

By the mid-to-late 2000s, the "Wild West" atmosphere in and around Budapest began to wane. The economic and financial conditions that had created such glaring disparities between east and west began to dissipate. The 2008 economic crisis sent another shock wave through the country, but the country's backdrop had changed by then. The porn companies began folding and moving. The peepshows, strip clubs, and prostitutes dwindled. An air of normalcy returned. Granted, adult entertainment businesses still operated here and there (and still do), but they were not (and are not) nearly as ubiquitous as they had been in the previous two decades. Though still a little rough around the edges, Hungary began to look and feel like a country again.

Over the past decade, Hungary has experienced unprecedented growth and prosperity. It has recovered from the tumult of the 1990s. Unemployment rates are low. Wages are rising. Legitimate opportunities are plentiful. In other words, from a material perspective, things are looking good. On top of this, the government has taken measures to address the country's demographic decline by promulgating pro-family policies. Government officials also speak of the need to defend and preserve Christianity, and of the importance of Christian values.

Though the current "illiberal" government is scorned by its more enlightened Western Western counterparts, Hungarians are very supportive of it. The government in turn appears to be supportive of its people. I generally do not place to much faith in governments, and there is no doubt the current Hungarian government has its fair share of flaws, but when I see its policies in action firsthand, I can't help but wonder that maybe the government is actually sincere in its motivations. Time will tell what the truth turns out to be.

Thirty years ago in Sopron, Hungary was given a chance and a choice. It blew the chance and took the wrong choice. Thirty years later, it is being offered another chance and another choice. In 1989, material needs were pressing, hedonism beckoned, and decadence mesmerized. In 2019, material needs appear to have waned, hedonism appears to have cooled, and decadence appears to have faded. The extremes have dissipated. Things have stabilized.

Today, Hungarians have the chance to revisit the choice they did not make in 1989 and reflect upon the consequences this non-choice created. Will they recognize the second chance they are being offered? Will they repent the wrong choices they made or the wrong choices circumstances forced upon them three decades ago? Will they seek spiritual renewal? Or will they rush headlong into another tidal wave of Western materialism, hedonism, and decadence? The choice is a stark one. The difference between life and death.

Hungary's spirit has kept the nation alive in one form or another for over 1100 years. It has survived Mongol and Ottoman conquests, Austrian imperialism, Soviet communism (not once, but twice), Nazi occupation, and one stormy bout with Western liberalism.
As history shows, Hungary can survive anything if it maintains its spirit, but it can only maintain its spirit if its people maintain the spiritual within themselves.

As ridiculous as it may sound to a contemporary reader, I feel the biggest challenge Hungary has ever faced was its most recent one, when communism collapsed and the country "liberated" itself into the West. This liberation into the West nearly cost Hungary its spirit. The same cannot be said for the Ottoman conquest, Nazi occupation, or the Soviet occupation. Though tragedy was rife during these dark and tragic times, the Hungarian spirit was able to survive if by no other means than through repentence.

But Hungary nearly lost its spirit forever after 1989. And though the economic landscape is much brighter now than it was back then, the spiritual dangers are just as high if not higher. Hungary and Hungarians in general appear to be making better choices, but only time will tell if they will ultimately make the right choices this time around, and whether these choices will lead to any sort of spiritual awakening.

If a spiritual awakening does occur, Hungary stands a chance going forward. If it does not, Hungary will surrender in a way it never has before, and it will lose that mysterious spiritual strength that can only be forged after a country is physically defeated, but remains metaphysically resilient.

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Say Hello to My Little Friend

6/21/2019

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I am taking my home renovations to a whole new level this summer, and this little orange beauty is going to help get me there. Never in my life did I imagine I would one day be the proud owner of a cement mixer, but well, here I am . . . living the dream!

I bought this cute little orange beast because I plan to pour quite a bit of concrete and complete some fairly extensive tiling work over the next couple of months. With rental fees being what they are over here, you end up paying the price of most tools and machines after only five or six rentals. Once I figured that out, I decided renting was out of the question, and I quickly ordered a mixer of my own.

Apparently, men who own cement mixers are highly respected and popular in these parts, as no one particularly likes paying rental fees for these sorts of contraptions. One of my neighbors quietly advised me to keep my latest equipment purchase to myself. According to him, if our fellow villagers catch wind of my mixer, they will be asking to borrow it day and night.

To be honest, I would have no problem lending it out, but I very much doubt I will let anyone use it this summer. With all the projects I have lined up for July and August, this little orange baby of mine is going to be spinning and mixing from sunup to sundown, week after glorious week - assuming it does not blow up or fall apart first.

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Who Needs Blog Posts When You Have Hedgehogs?

6/20/2019

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I was just about to start writing a blog post this evening (and it was going to be a really profound one, let me tell you) when my son came into the room and asked me to draw something with him. We first began drawing together around Christmas time. My son had never shown much interest in drawing or coloring when he was younger. I didn't force the issue back then, but when he continued to show little interest in drawing after he turned seven, I decided a little intervention was in order.

So during last year's Christmas break, I talked my little boy into giving drawing a try. I didn't coax my son into drawing because I have some deep-seated desire to see him become an artist. No, no, I am no Leopold Mozart. Nonetheless, I did find his lack of interest in doodling and sketching peculiar. When I suggested we sit down and draw together back during the Christmas break, I expected some resistance from him, but to my surprise he became quite enthused about the idea. He took to drawing like (pardon the cliché) a fish to water and has been drawing almost daily ever since.

We still draw together once or twice a week. I usually let him pick the subject, which means I have drawn many dragons, Godzillas, Lego figures, and cars over the past six months. My son's latest obsession is Sonic the Hedgehog, and we are currently making our way through the various characters. Today's subject was Shadow the Hedgehog, who I am guessing is Sonic's Jungian dark side or something to that effect.

So there will be no written blog post tonight. Instead, I humbly offer a little gallery of Shadow the Hedgehogs. Next week, my son and I will be drawing Egg Man, whoever or whatever that is.

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Endorsing, Promoting, and Embracing Sexual Perversion Has Become a Moral Imperative

6/19/2019

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Dr. Bruce Charlton has written a number of posts (here and here) addressing Rudolf Steiner's warnings about the malign consequences Western society would inevitably face if it failed in its duty to take the necessary steps toward spiritual development during the twentieth century. Steiner's warnings come from a 1918 lecture, which, as Bruce Charlton points out, have evolved into prophecy over the course of a century.

This is particularly true of Steiner's predictions concerning sexuality. Steiner predicted that Western society's refusal to channel its energy into the development of spirit and consciousness would play out perniciously in the realm of human sexuality by perverting and distorting sexual instincts. Steiner then goes on to add that the ruling scientific worldview of the future would regard these distorted instincts as desirable, progressive, and virtuous.

Below are some extracts from Steiner's lecture that Bruce Charlton included in one of his posts on the subject. I have left Charlton's bold intact. If you have not read these excerpts, I urge you to do so now. If you have read these excerpts before, I urge you to read them again.

My comments on the subject continue following these excerpted passages.

Certain instinctive knowledge will arise in human nature connected with the mystery of birth and conception, with sexual life as a whole; and this threatens to become baleful if the danger of which I have spoken takes effect.

The effect in the evolution of humanity would be that certain instincts connected with the sexual life would arise in a pernicious form instead of wholesomely, in clear waking consciousness.

These sexual instincts would not be mere aberrations, but would pass over into and configure the social life, would above all prevent men from unfolding brotherhood in any form whatever on the earth, and would rather induce them to rebel against it. This would be a matter of instinct.

So the crucial point lies ahead when either the path to the right can be taken — but that demands wakefulness — or the path to the left, which permits of sleep. But in that case instincts come on the scene — instincts of a fearful kind.

And what do you suppose the scientific experts will say when such instincts come into evidence? They will say that it is a natural and inevitable development in the evolution of humanity. But light cannot be shed on such matters by natural science, for whether men become angels or devils would be equally capable of explanation by scientific reasoning. Science will say the same in both cases: the later is the outcome of the earlier ...

Natural science will be totally blind to the event of which I have told you, for if men become half devils through their sexual instincts, science will as a matter of course regard this as a natural necessity. Scientifically, then, the matter is simply not capable of explanation, for whatever happens, everything can be explained by science.

Man would pride himself upon the growth of his instinctive knowledge of certain processes and substances and would experience such satisfaction in obeying certain aberrations of the sexual impulses that he would regard them as evidence of a particularly high development of superhumanity, of freedom from convention, of broad-mindedness!

In a certain respect, ugliness would be beauty and beauty, ugliness.

Yet, nothing of this would be perceived because it would all be regarded as natural necessity. But it would actually denote an aberration from the path which, in the nature of humanity itself, is prescribed for man's essential being.

After I read these excerpts, and the lecture from which they were taken, I reflected upon the unfolding of Steiner's prophecy within the framework of my own life (I will be 48 years old this summer). I feel apprehensive about sharing the following, not out of fear of repercussions, but rather out of fear that my observations may not do the subject justice. In any case, I feel impelled to outline the following if for no other reason than to "think through" Steiner's predictions against the backdrop of my own life.

As I traced the prevailing societal sexual attitudes marking my own life, I realized my own attitudes toward sexual morality tended to mirror the ruling sexual morality of the day, and that I only started turning away from mainstream sexual morality in the past ten-to-fifteen years. In other words, the societal attitudes I remember and describe below (I am painting with a very broad brush here) pretty much mirrored my own until I reached my mid-thirties, which is roughly around 2005 or so.

In any event, here are my (sloppy) observations concerning Steiner's prophecy within the general timeline of my own life:

Up until the age of fourteen or fifteen (1971 - 1985), sexual attitudes in Canada (where I grew up) were fairly conventional and conservative, this even against the backdrop of the 1960s sexual revolution. I obviously had a fairly limited awareness of sexual attitudes when I was a still a young child, but as I recall, sexual mores and morality were still grounded in what I would classify as a Christian or, at the very least, a traditional framework. This did not mean that everyone around me was a practicing Christian or traditionalist, but rather that even non-practicing Christians more or less subscribed to a Christian or traditional morality regarding sex.

I would tag this period with the following phrase: "I cannot openly tolerate your sexual deviancy, but I will turn a blind eye to it if you keep it hidden and to yourself." This period was marked by the following attributes, as I remember them:

Pornography existed, but was practically inaccessible. Hardcore pornography was extremely inaccessible, even for adults.
Marriage and family were viewed as positives. Divorce was nothing of which to be proud.
Same sex relationships were frowned upon/openly mocked. Open displays of homosexuality were practically non-existent.
Television programs omitted/deleted nudity and sexual scenes from movies.
Politicians and public figures maintained, at the very least, a veneer of sexual conformity and normality.
Sexual deviancy might have been tolerated, but certainly not openly.
Masturbation was not discussed openly and considered shameful.

A tremendous shift in sexual attitudes took places in my late teens/early twenties (the years from 1985 to 1992). This is where I first began to detect the open balefulness Steiner mentions in his lecture. The prevailing societal attitude during this phase of my life was, "I don't condone it, but I am willing to tolerate/accept it as long as you keep it to yourself and don't push it on me."

More than half of the adult couples I knew while I was growing up divorced (including my own parents). Divorce became normalized, acceptable, nothing to be ashamed of.
Pornography became freely available, but was sold mostly in age-restricted shops.
Homosexual themes, including gay rights, began appearing in the media. Gay Pride Day parades were openly advertised/covered by the media.
Television content became more indecent. Music videos were incredibly popular and many were explicitly sexual in nature.
Casual sex became more openly acceptable/desirable. Prudishness was considered uncool or the sign of psychological issues. Hedonism/materialism was again openly worshiped in the mainstream.
At the same time, the AIDS epidemic caused a bipolar attitude toward sex. Everyone desired/wanted casual sex, but many were too scared to engage in it.
Preachers and critics who admonished homosexuality and claimed AIDS had been sent to decimate the homosexual community were roundly humiliated and punished via the media. Though I did not agree with the meanness of the criticism, I did see a connection between the disease and promiscuity. Criticism of homosexuality in any way, shape, or form was slowly outlawed. This was my first meaningful encounter with political correctness.
Marriage and divorce began to be mocked on the media via insipid television programs and films.
Open tolerance of sexual deviancy was encouraged and considered broadminded, with the caveat that sexual deviancy be kept private and know its place, so to speak.
An increasing number of politicians and public figures began to show support for alternative lifestyles and unconventional sexual attitudes.
Masturbation was accepted as something natural/desirable/understandable.

Through my early-twenties to about my early thirties (1993-2005), I noticed a extraordinary loosening of the sexual attitudes I had known/grown up with when I was a child. The societal sexual attitudes during this phase of my life spanned the "I'm not gay; not that there is anything wrong with that" line made famous by the television sitcom, Seinfeld, to what I would coin as "They have a right to do that! If you don't believe that right exists, there's something wrong with you", which was extended to cover many other formerly unconventional sexual practices:

Pornography was now readily and freely available round-the-clock via the internet. Risque browsing habits were often openly discussed.
Homosexuality and same-sex marriage were floated as being as virtuous and proper as conventional, heterosexual marriages. People were encouraged to openly support same-sex marriage and homosexual rights under the mantra of human rights.
Less than half of my (heterosexual) friends married. Most who did not marry in their twenties and thirties remain unmarried today. Half of the ones who did marry have since divorced.
Hook-up culture and casual sex was considered superior to conventional monogamy within marriage (with the exception of same sex marriages).
Taboo sexual practices went mainstream. No practices or fetishes (with the exception of perhaps pedophilia) were off limits/scorned.
Criticism of sexual deviancy was immediately met with charges of bigotry and carried immediate sanctions and consequences (job loss, character assassination. The word suffix -phobic became ubiquitous.
Alternative sexual lifestyles started to be promoted in the media. Sexual tastes and preferences were placed under the diversity banner of progressivism.
Academia launched a full out offensive on conventional sexual attitudes, which are still officially regarded as restrictive/oppressive.
Marriage rates and birth rates for Western countries continued to plummet. All Western societies hit sub-replacement levels of fertility.
Sexual perversion was officially sanctioned, endorsed, and promoted in education curricula.
Public figures and politicians openly advocated for and supported many forms of sexual deviancy demanding absolute legal, financial, societal, and moral acceptance of these practices/lifestyles.

From my mid-thirties until now, I would say the complete inversion of sexual morality has been achieved, and all with startling acceleration and velocity. What had once been considered perverse is now considered virtuous and what had been considered virtuous is now mocked as perverse. Enlightened Western governments and societies have openly and arrogantly adopted the mantra Steiner mentions in his prophetic lecture, and actively and openly promulgate the agenda through their media and bureaucratic apparatuses.

Concerning sexual deviance and perversions, practically all Western governments truly do regard them as "evidence of a particularly high development of superhumanity, of freedom from convention, of broad-mindedness" to the point that they not only demand total acceptance and adherence to these new sexual codes, but also require citizens to actively and publicly endorse, promote, and embrace sexual deviancy. Failure to do so carries immediate social, financial, legal, and political consequences. Disagreement with even a trivial facet of the current sexual paradigm immediately renders one a social pariah. In most lines of employment, especially high status ones, people who refuse to promote the program are not in turn never considered or hired (let alone promoted).

Not only have Steiner's predictions concerning the degeneration of human sexuality come true, but his warning concerning the formation of an inverted moral imperative has also manifested. Despite any argument to the contrary, this situation will not improve, but will, in my opinion, continue to degenerate until the entire Western system collapses under the calamitous misstep it took at the beginning of the twentieth century. This will likely strike some as an overtly pessimistic and hyperbolic claim, but the complete inversion of sexual morality and the active endorsing, promoting, and embracing of sexual perversion did portend the end of many earlier Western societies including the Greek city states and the Roman Empire.

Thus, at the societal level, I do not believe there is much we can do or can be done to reverse Steiner's fulfilled prophecy. Whatever can be done must be done at the level of the individual, from the depths of the True Self.

Refusing to endorse, promote, and embrace sexual perversion as a moral imperative has obvious consequences. The decision to choose or reject this degenerate moral imperative is up to us as individuals.

Accepting sexual deviancy and perversion as a good will likely allow you to make your way in the world. On the other hand, rejecting sexual deviancy and perversion as a good, even purely at the level of thinking, will likely place innumerable material obstacles in your path.

Nevertheless, if you are willing to have material obstacles placed in your path, you may create a set of circumstances in which certain spiritual obstacles are removed from your path, and you just might have a chance to take those steps toward spiritual development Western societies so tragically rejected over a century ago.

In the end, it's up to each one of us to decide which is more important.

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Mednyánszky - Night Travelers at a Cross

6/18/2019

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Night Travelers at a Cross - László Mednyánszky - 1880(?) - tempera on panel

Stone crosses are ubiquitous in this part of the world and can be found in the most unexpected places. I have had the experience of encountering an ornately chiselled stone crucifix deep in a forest several kilometers away from the nearest settlement, which is probably why this image resonates with me. Granted, I was not walking in the forest at night, but the overall experience of finding a cross in the middle of "nowhere" was still moving nonetheless.

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No Interest in Writing About My Experience as an Inner-City High School Teacher

6/17/2019

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From 2005 until 2011 I worked as a high school English teacher in what are classified as "disadvantaged neighborhoods" in New York City. I became a teacher through the New York City Teaching Fellowship, an organization that recruited new graduates and career changers in an effort to fill the teacher shortages plaguing parts of the Big Apple that were more colloquially known as "hoods" or "ghettos."

I spent five years at a school in the Bronx and one year at another school in Queens before I moved away from New York City for good. Six years is not a long time, but the average New York City Teaching Fellow lasted a mere year or two before quitting, so my brief tenure is actually fairly respectable, all things considered.

When people discovered I worked as a teacher in New York's inner-city schools, they tended to look at me with a blend of admiration and pity. Many encouraged me to write about my experiences as a teacher. I entertained the idea from time to time, even after I had left New York because I certainly had experienced much during those six years I spent working in "ghetto schools."

For a brief time I toyed with the idea of writing a collection of essays á la Theodore Dalrymple, essays railing against the corrosive forces of social justice, the inefficient (and evil) bureaucratic workings of the Department of Education, the awfulness of progressive education, and so on. On another occasion, I considered composing a collection of short stories focusing on days in the lives of students and teachers.

In the end, I never touched pen to paper for either idea. For reasons I cannot explain, I have never felt inspired to write extensively about my experiences as an inner-city teacher, or my other teaching experiences for that matter, not even in blog posts.

And the more time passes, the less inclined I feel to do so. Though I do keep in touch with a couple of my former students from New York, my inner-city teaching years are buried in the past now. I feel no desire to revisit them creatively, and I probably never will.

In fact, this might be the only focused blog post I will ever write about the subject . . . yet even here I do not feel inspired to say anything else about it all.

Strange.

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