Francis Berger
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Clickety-Click, Birdemic Trick

5/31/2021

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Barbapapa - a cartoon series from the 1970s featuring a family of shape-shifting blobs that could alter their forms by simply saying "clickety-click, barba trick" - was quite popular when I was a kid. I hadn't thought about Barbapapa for decades, but the seemingly magical transformations the birdemic is undergoing at the moment suddenly reminded me of the series. 

For example, a little less than ten weeks ago, Hungary was in the grips of its second hard lockdown and apparently on the brink of a national catastrophe. Birdemic deaths were among the highest in the world and birdemic cases increased on a daily basis, almost exponentially.

The peck program, which had been initiated here in January 2020, swung into full effect shortly after the second lockdown. The government presented the people with a stark choice - the peck or death. About two million chose the peck. 

A few weeks later, the government rolled out its lockout plan. Pecked people would get to go to the movies and the zoo. They would also be issued peck passports to facilitate travel to holiday destinations abroad. Another two million quickly chose the peck. Then the Hungarian authorities offered the peck to teenagers. About another million chose the peck.

As the number of pecked people inched closer to five million, the apocalyptic birdemic numbers suddenly reversed. Cases and deaths plummeted, sometimes  overnight. This coaxed a few hundred thousand more to choose the peck. Cases and deaths fell even further.

The government unceremoniously lifted most of the birdemic restrictions it had imposed on the populace for the better part of a year, maintained that the unpecked would continue to be locked out of "the return to normal", and then announced that the dreaded third wave of the birdemic had been defeated. 

Five million "perfectly safe and effective" experimental pecks and tens weeks had brought the dreaded plague to heel. 

Clickety-click, birdemic trick.

Of course, we're not out of the woods yet. There are still five million unpecked people in this country - and as everyone knows, none are safe until all are safe. 

But hang on! New birdemic varieties are flying in from Asia as we speak. It goes without saying that the pecked are perfectly protected from any and every novel variant and mutation - but the unpecked? Not so much. Regardless, most of the unpecked are choosing to remain unpecked, which is a big problem because herd immunity. 

And to top it all off, it turns out the birdemic might be a bioweapon after all - at least that's the narrative the mainstream media is now pushing. 

Clickety-click, birdemic trick.

While some parts of the world appear to be emerging from the plague, other parts are plunging into birdemic chaos, some for the very first time. 

Clickety click, birdemic trick.

Like Barbapapa, the birdemic is a changeling. Those who control it can transmogrify it, seemingly at will. Unlike the Barbapapa characters - who changed shapes mostly for good - any forthcoming transformations the birdemic undergoes will serve everything but the Good.

Clickety-click . . .   
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