Francis Berger
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Hungary Eases Its Lockdown - Sort Of

5/6/2020

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Hungary went into lockdown mode about two months ago. Since then, the birdemic plague has caused a startling 3,111 infections and a staggering 373 deaths in the country. I have no doubt the government will use these low numbers to prove the astuteness of their lockdown measures. I mean, think about it. If they hadn't locked down the country, cases and deaths could have been double or triple the current number. The horror!

In all fairness, saving lives was not the lockdown's main goal in Hungary - at least that's what the government maintains. No, the chief purpose of the lockdown was to buy time to 'flatten the curve' to prepare the poorly-equipped and poorly-staffed Hungarian healthcare system for a potential, apocalyptic mass infection scenario.

Well, it took seven weeks, but Hungary has proudly announced that its healthcare system is now ready, willing, and able to handle anything the birdemic can throw at it. Seems like the perfect time to end the lockdown to see if the potential mass infection event really does happen. No worries though. If it does, Hungary is ready. If it doesn't, hmmm . . . then that means the lockdown worked gooder than anyone could have predicted.

If keeping people at home kills viruses, then I'm never leaving the house again. The problem is I can't do that anymore. You see, yesterday the government announced it was easing its lockdown measures . . . sort of. Though the capital Budapest remains in strict lockdown (I guess the hospitals there aren't ready yet), the rest of country can leave the house and get its butt back to work (if the work hasn't disappeared during the birdemic). I guess the rural hospitals are better equipped or something. Or maybe its a density thing. Or maybe rural folk are simply favored over urbanites because, let's face it, most rural people vote for the government while the lefty city types don't.

Though many non-essential shops, stores, and services in the countryside will be allowed to open and operate again, each will obliged to do so under a tangled knot of industry/service-specific rules and regulations. The bulk of the rules and regulations are arbitrary, contradictory, and confusing - so much so that even the government itself appears somewhat mystified by them. But logic be damned! Millions of Hungarians are still potentially at risk.

Schools will remain closed for the rest of the school year, but churches will open again, albeit with many catches and stipulations. No peace handshakes or communion or gossiping in groups after the service. Oh yeah, and everyone has to keep a two-meter distance and wear a face mask in church as well.

Apparently, face masks are now a mandatory fashion accessory - unless you have asthma. Qualification for this humanitarian exception requires a stamped doctor's note. The only way to get a note is to visit a doctor. You can't visit a doctor unless you are wearing a face mask. Apparently doctor's notes are fairly cheap. I may invest in one because my face is far too handsome to be covered by a surgical mask. If I wore a mask all the time, I would be depriving the world of beauty, and I simply refuse to be that cruel!

All kidding aside, the easing of the lockdown is happening exactly as I imagined it would - a return to normal with plenty of strings attached (conditions which, ironically, nullify any sense of normal). I suspect the same return normal with extra heaps of regulations and bureaucracy has occurred or will occur elsewhere. Hungary's problem is it does not possess the manpower to enforce the bureaucracy, especially not in rural areas, which might help explain why it is giving the countryside the qualified green light first. 

Whatever the case, the country has its work cut out for it. All things considered, the economy was doing quite well before the lockdown. Now? Who knows? Two months of economic freeze is a long time. In addition, Hungary is not an isolated island. The country has an export-based economy that relies heavily on the viability of its trading partners. As far as I can tell, Hungary's trading partners are not doing too well, which means Hungary will inevitably not do well. 

Nevertheless, the government has guaranteed it will replace every job the birdemic wipes out. Perhaps the bulk of those new jobs will be in the "making sure people follow the post-lockdown rules" industry because I can't for the life of me envision any other industry where workers will be in high demand after life returns to sort-of normal. 
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