Francis Berger
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In Which Francis Berger Falls From a Helicopter (Jumps, Actually) and Is Eaten By a Shark

10/16/2021

7 Comments

 
No, not yours truly, but a character named Francis Berger who appears in a terrible B movie called Cruel Jaws.

B movie Francis Berger is a police chief, and in the scene below he decides to go helicopter shark fishing. What follows is one of the most poorly acted death scenes I have ever had the pleasure of viewing. (Warning: the clip contains a bit of strong language.)

Enjoy!  
7 Comments
Michelle
10/17/2021 12:05:04

Experts say there's a .0001% chance of falling out of a helicopter and being eaten by a shark. Experts also say that wearing a seat belt in a helicopter cuts your chance of falling out of a helicopter and being eaten by a shark by 98%, but there's still that risk, so experts now agree that seatbelts should also be worn all the time, even when you are in your house. Conspiracy theorists say that seatbelts worn in the house do nothing to protect people from falling out of a helicopter and being eaten by a shark, but thankfully those people are not listened to. Since I haven't fallen out of a helicopter and been eaten by a shark, the experts must be correct on their approach.

Reply
Francis Berger
10/17/2021 18:43:59

@ Michelle - Ah, that's very good! Yes, if the past 18 or 19 months have taught me anything, it's that I must always trust the experts. They are "the" experts, after all.

Reply
Craig Davis
10/17/2021 13:53:16

"We're gonna need a bigger helicopter!" My new motto in life and the clear solution to all of my problems.

Reply
Francis Berger
10/17/2021 18:45:42

@ Craig -

Waiter: Sorry sir, but we're all out of the New York style cheesecake.

Customer: No cheesecake?! I'm gonna need a bigger helicopter!

Reply
Luke
10/17/2021 17:51:54

The bar is set. How do you plan to top this?

Reply
Francis Berger
10/17/2021 18:49:35

@ Luke - Simple. By lighting myself on fire before jumping out of the helicopter.

Speaking of fire, here is another great scene from the same movie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VeF6kZ279E

Reply
Todd
10/18/2021 16:39:18

Wow. Just wow. I didn't realize that B acting could be like that. Maybe we need a new term - Z movies?

Reply

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