I sifted through this blog the other day and noticed a marked difference between the posts I wrote before 2020 and the posts I wrote after 2020. Sure, many themes and interests exist on both sides of the 2020 demarcation line, but other themes and topics have virtually disappeared.
For example, before 2020, I sometimes wrote about politics. I rarely, if ever, write about politics now. Before 2020, I occasionally waded into "woke" issues. After 2020, I have barely touched them.
Prior to 2020, I was extremely prone to extend people the benefit of the doubt, reserve judgment, and hold out a sliver of hope for some appendage of the System. In the two-plus years since 2020, I only trust those who have earned it, I judge almost immediately, and I have rid myself of all hope for the System.
On the surface, my thoughts and attitude are far darker and more cynical than they were two-and-a-half years ago. However, when I stop and consider everything that has transpired in those thirty or so months and envision what lies ahead, I often wonder if my thoughts are dark and cynical enough.
That said, I must confess that I am not in a dark and cynical place. On the contrary, I have never felt more bathed in light; and I feel an inexplicable sunniness about mortal life in this world despite everything. This buoyancy boils down to what I would call "an increased sense of freedom".
For the first time in my life, I find myself at the liberty of not having to care or worry about things like politics, woke issues, or the general and glaring destruction of society. This "carefree" attitude does not stem from apathy or indifference but rather from the increasingly urgent understanding that there are far more important and pressing matters to care about.
Superficially, my experience of life post-2020 has been wholly paradoxical. The deeper the world burrows into unfreedom, the freer I feel; but it all begins to make sense as soon as I remember what I am freeing myself from, what I am freeing myself for, and what I am eagerly striving to be free with.
For example, before 2020, I sometimes wrote about politics. I rarely, if ever, write about politics now. Before 2020, I occasionally waded into "woke" issues. After 2020, I have barely touched them.
Prior to 2020, I was extremely prone to extend people the benefit of the doubt, reserve judgment, and hold out a sliver of hope for some appendage of the System. In the two-plus years since 2020, I only trust those who have earned it, I judge almost immediately, and I have rid myself of all hope for the System.
On the surface, my thoughts and attitude are far darker and more cynical than they were two-and-a-half years ago. However, when I stop and consider everything that has transpired in those thirty or so months and envision what lies ahead, I often wonder if my thoughts are dark and cynical enough.
That said, I must confess that I am not in a dark and cynical place. On the contrary, I have never felt more bathed in light; and I feel an inexplicable sunniness about mortal life in this world despite everything. This buoyancy boils down to what I would call "an increased sense of freedom".
For the first time in my life, I find myself at the liberty of not having to care or worry about things like politics, woke issues, or the general and glaring destruction of society. This "carefree" attitude does not stem from apathy or indifference but rather from the increasingly urgent understanding that there are far more important and pressing matters to care about.
Superficially, my experience of life post-2020 has been wholly paradoxical. The deeper the world burrows into unfreedom, the freer I feel; but it all begins to make sense as soon as I remember what I am freeing myself from, what I am freeing myself for, and what I am eagerly striving to be free with.
RSS Feed
