Francis Berger
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Repentance is Impossible If Memory Yields to Pride

8/14/2022

1 Comment

 
I have done that, says my memory. I cannot have done that, says my pride and remains immovable. In the end, my memory yields.

The aphorism above is one of my favorites from Nietzsche. Recent developments and experiences have got me thinking about that aphorism quite a bit. Everywhere I look I see memory yielding to implacable pride. I listen to people who know that they "have done that" flat out tell me that they, in fact, "cannot have done that." It truly is a thing to behold. 

I'm not referring to System communications here because those loyal to the System care little about pride-memory issues.

On the contrary, most system apparatchiks appear to be perfectly immune to such things. Consistent, incessant, compulsive, pathological lying has away of eradicating potential conflicts between pride and memory, so it would be unrealistic to expect that sort of thing from people who orbit System circles. Memory-holing inconvenient "thats" is a big part of the System's game, which reveals much about the forces behind the System.   

No, I'm talking about ordinary people -- some of them Christians. People who know damn well that they "did that" but conveniently dispense with it by allowing pride to overpower memory.

It's a sad and somewhat horrifying spectacle to witness because it extends way beyond matters of "saving face" and penetrates into the adamant and blatant refusal to repent. 

Repentance is crucial in this time and place. Since we are all sinners, we all must contend with pride-memory issues all the time, but I sense that the events of the past thirty or so months have brought forth and are bringing a forth a slew of specific, event-driven pride-memory conflicts that most people seem eager to avoid. Better to simply forget about all the "thats' that were done. 

We must not be among those people. We must not let our memory yield to pride. The spiritual implications of allowing memory to yield to pride are too immense.

If we did "that", then we must take the first step toward repentance and acknowledge "that". Once done, we must take the next step and own "that". We must ensure our memory yields to pride. Doing so will help maintain harmony with Creation.

​Allowing pride to overwhelm memory works against God and Creation because we are essentially forcing the unreal upon the real. We also obstruct our chances for genuine repentance. 

​Note added: Nietzsche's aphorism is primarily a psychological observation, but it is readily applicable to spiritual concerns, particularly repentance.   

  
1 Comment
bruce charlton
8/15/2022 11:25:45

Of course, we can see this psychological mechanism at work in young children; who will sometimes deny - and believe their own denials - of things they have been witnessed doing.

But I suppose we must distinguish the psychology from the spiritual. In the spiritual, probably the cause goes the opposite direction.

The reluctance to repent is what causes the pride. In other words, when repentance for a sin is ruled-out (as metaphysically unreal, or simply because we intend to continue sinning) then the sin is denied and pride justifies the sin... "If I want to do it, it cannot be a sin!"

By this account, if there had been a willingness to repent, then we would not experience that pride which causes memory to be denied/ erased.

(Of course memory might fail or fade for some other physical/ medical reason, but not as a spiritual self-deception).

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