A: We need to update that slogan that was part of the Atheist Bus Campaign in 2008 and 2009. Though it still concisely sums up the crux of the spiritual malaise we've created in the West, the boss thinks it needs a little refreshing.
B: I couldn't agree more. After all, we've made quite a bit of progress since then. What do you suggest?
A: Well to begin with, the word probably needs to be omitted because, let's face it - we've been very successful at getting people to forget God. Most won't even briefly entertain, let alone deeply consider the probability of God. And we certainly don't want to encourage them to entertain any notions , do we?
B: Quite right! So the new, updated slogan could be - There's no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.
A: Yes, yes. That's grand. But let's be honest. We can't have people not worrying. What's the use in that?
B: Yes, that's a good point. How about something like this instead? There's no God, so stop worrying about God and start worrying about other things that we manipulate you into worrying about like climate change, transgenderism, open borders, white nationalism, politics, equality, racism, diversity - and enjoy your life.
A: Not the catchiest slogan, but it addresses the issue at hand adroitly. But enjoy your life? It's too concrete. I mean, we don't really want people to enjoy their lives - we merely want to provide the illusion of enjoyment.
B: You're right. We certainly don't want to be sued for fraud, do we? Besides, people will probably start seeing through the enjoy your life spiel soon anyway. Okay then, what about this? There's no God, so stop worrying about God and start worrying about things that we manipulate into worrying about like climate change, transgenderism, open borders, white nationalism, politics, equality, racism, diversity, etc., and enjoy your life, but not through means that align with God and Reality - because we don't want you to believe that those things really exist - but exclusively through unreal progressive means like expensive, pointless yoga retreats; a variety of novel and casual sexual encounters with people you can treat like objects; working long hours in a mind-numbing, soul-crushing job where you're always in a state of anxiety about getting the sack but ultimately relieved when you survive the month so you can pay the burdensome fifty-year mortgage on your 800 square foot terraced house next to the old sludge pit . . .
A: I like the content, but it's not a slogan! It will never fit on a bus! Slogans are meant to be catchy and concise. They must strike at the essence, not blather on like some awful, racist, sexist Victorian novel. Think harder!
B: You're right of course. What do you think of this? There's no God, so worry a lot, but only enough that you surrender yourself to us, through which you can try to enjoy your life but only through the progressive means we sanction which are limited to the following: pointless casual sexual encounters where everyone involved is reduced to the level of an object of pleasure-
A: Stop! The core of the matter! We need to take this seriously!. Chisel away all that fluff and get right to the point. Make it memorable. Unforgettable. Hard-hitting.
B: There's no God. Start worrying because you probably won't enjoy your life.
A: More sincere, but far too negative to be profound. Try again.
B: There's no God. Only worry.
A: Getting closer, but not quite there yet. Still too bleak. It needs to end with something upbeat!
B: No God; no life. Enjoy!
A: Perfect! But a little too perfect, I'm afraid.
B: So should we go with it or not?
A: I think we should, but let's run it by the boss first.
B: I couldn't agree more. After all, we've made quite a bit of progress since then. What do you suggest?
A: Well to begin with, the word probably needs to be omitted because, let's face it - we've been very successful at getting people to forget God. Most won't even briefly entertain, let alone deeply consider the probability of God. And we certainly don't want to encourage them to entertain any notions , do we?
B: Quite right! So the new, updated slogan could be - There's no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.
A: Yes, yes. That's grand. But let's be honest. We can't have people not worrying. What's the use in that?
B: Yes, that's a good point. How about something like this instead? There's no God, so stop worrying about God and start worrying about other things that we manipulate you into worrying about like climate change, transgenderism, open borders, white nationalism, politics, equality, racism, diversity - and enjoy your life.
A: Not the catchiest slogan, but it addresses the issue at hand adroitly. But enjoy your life? It's too concrete. I mean, we don't really want people to enjoy their lives - we merely want to provide the illusion of enjoyment.
B: You're right. We certainly don't want to be sued for fraud, do we? Besides, people will probably start seeing through the enjoy your life spiel soon anyway. Okay then, what about this? There's no God, so stop worrying about God and start worrying about things that we manipulate into worrying about like climate change, transgenderism, open borders, white nationalism, politics, equality, racism, diversity, etc., and enjoy your life, but not through means that align with God and Reality - because we don't want you to believe that those things really exist - but exclusively through unreal progressive means like expensive, pointless yoga retreats; a variety of novel and casual sexual encounters with people you can treat like objects; working long hours in a mind-numbing, soul-crushing job where you're always in a state of anxiety about getting the sack but ultimately relieved when you survive the month so you can pay the burdensome fifty-year mortgage on your 800 square foot terraced house next to the old sludge pit . . .
A: I like the content, but it's not a slogan! It will never fit on a bus! Slogans are meant to be catchy and concise. They must strike at the essence, not blather on like some awful, racist, sexist Victorian novel. Think harder!
B: You're right of course. What do you think of this? There's no God, so worry a lot, but only enough that you surrender yourself to us, through which you can try to enjoy your life but only through the progressive means we sanction which are limited to the following: pointless casual sexual encounters where everyone involved is reduced to the level of an object of pleasure-
A: Stop! The core of the matter! We need to take this seriously!. Chisel away all that fluff and get right to the point. Make it memorable. Unforgettable. Hard-hitting.
B: There's no God. Start worrying because you probably won't enjoy your life.
A: More sincere, but far too negative to be profound. Try again.
B: There's no God. Only worry.
A: Getting closer, but not quite there yet. Still too bleak. It needs to end with something upbeat!
B: No God; no life. Enjoy!
A: Perfect! But a little too perfect, I'm afraid.
B: So should we go with it or not?
A: I think we should, but let's run it by the boss first.
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